Overheard at the Beach
- fiction by Bob Scott
Two plains
bison were lying around on the pitcher's mound, in early May, discussing the
latest.
"Hi Stinky.
What you doing round here?" asked the old bull.
"Just seeing the sights,"
answered Stinky. "Do you come here every spring Red-eye?"
inquired Stinky.
"I been coming here for about twenty years now," answered Red-eye. "Usually
it's just a few of us old bulls and the ringed-billed gulls at this time of
the year."
Why do you choose the beach area?" inquired Stinky.
"It's the grass; imported stuff. Best there is round here."
"Yea,
I noticed it was sweet and tasty," said the young bull. "Say, what's that
closed sign over at the Shoreline Trail for?"
"Well, every year, about the twenty-fourth of May, we get an influx of
humans that think they own this beach. Some of them ain't too educated in
the ways of the wild. They even think we're tame critters. Now, between you
and me, there's nothing I like better than to laze round on a sunny summer
afternoon and enjoy a good chew. You know, rehash the old cud. But them
humans won't leave us alone; won't admire us from a distance so to speak.
They make real pests of themselves. Couple years ago Mad Bull got his
wool riled at a few of them humans on a Sunday afternoon over on that hill.
He's now in 'Bison Heaven' cause he couldn't control his temper. It was
either him or them. Guess he was in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"Anyway, back to the closed sign. Them wardens ain't all that bad. Each year
at this time they set some, what they call 'Bison Traps' and try to
clear us out of the beach area to make it safe for them tourists."
"Did you ever get caught in one of those traps?" inquired Stinky.
"Yea. In my younger years I got suckered in by some of that great alfalfa
they bait the traps with. After a long cold winter I just couldn't resist
some of that quality bean-grass. Trouble was, I sure didn't enjoy the rough
ride I got afterwards. Since then I've learned to resist the stuff. If
you're smart, you'll do the same. Seems every couple of years the wardens
set out extra traps. Some of us took the bait and have never been heard from
again. Rumor is they were shipped up north; but I have my doubts. I've read
the sign over at the concession advertising buffalo burgers. It's
better to be safe than sorry, I say."
"So, do you get to stay in the beach area all summer?"
"Yea; most of the time. I try to come here early, 'bout sun up and get my
fill. Then I wander off to a quiet spot as soon as those nosy humans show
up. How about you, young feller? You going to hang around here?"
"Nah! Too boring for me. I hear there's some lovely brown eyed cows with
cute little tails not too far south where the guys used to watch Buffy.
What's the best way out of this fenced-in beach area. I don't care much for
those Texas Gates.
"Well don't spread this around. If you go due east of here a few hundred
yards and follow the fence south you'll find a couple of new holes. It'll
save you a swim around it. You don't want to get that new fur coat your
growing all wet and slimy if your going out chasing the ladies. Keep an eye
out for Blondy; she's the Amazon type."
"Gee, thanks for the tips old timer. Be seeing you around then."
"I'll be here," responded old Red-eye.
Separating fact from fiction
- the names
have not been changed.
Stinky is a
plains bison that got his name from his habit of hanging around an area
called the sewage lagoon, and seen in the beach area from time to time.
Buffy was the first wood bison calf born and hand raised in Elk Island
National Park in 1965. Buffy died last year at the age of twenty-eight; not
as old as some but a good age for a bison. Some have lived passed forty. Mad
Bull received his name posthumously. Blondy is a planes bison. Light in
color and as big as any of the bulls. And Red-eye, as his name implies, has
one eye that was injured. Maybe in a rival dispute over Blondy. (At least
that's how I heard the stories at the beach one day.)
The plains
bison are sold through a closed bid system. The buyer can use them to raise
his own herd, cross breed them with cattle to produce beefalo or cattlelo,
or to put them in his own freezer if he chooses. The wood bison are still on
the threatened list. They are not sold; but surplus bison from Elk Island
are used to stock new areas in their former ranges.
Bulletin:
As I write this Evelyn-Marie is several days past delivery. Evelyn is
participating in a wood bison caving ratio study. Eight female wood bison
have been collared for this study and the wardens are keeping a close watch.
Ask the ladies at the park about the names of the other seven in this study. |
